i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
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