great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize