Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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