I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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