I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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