once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
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he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
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Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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