Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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