cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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