Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Im part way to drunk.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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