he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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