The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
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Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
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I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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