So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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