The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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