He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
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I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
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How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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