i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
All the doctor said was why
Randomize