If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
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