So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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