I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
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She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
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No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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