Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
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The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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