Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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