he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize