Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
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