I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
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When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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