ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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