I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize