Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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