I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
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our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
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He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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