I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is Oprah even human
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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