Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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