Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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