fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize