Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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