why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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