My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize