i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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