i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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