I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize