I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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