Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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