So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
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You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
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Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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