Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize