I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
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I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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