Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize