jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize