You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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