I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize