It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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