The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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