sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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