I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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